Sunday 9th January 2022
Kickstart Part II
Well it’s been two years since I started hosting my own blog rather than through blogger and also the incentive to get broadband in the house, prior to that I just tethered. It’s funny what can just spark something off. I’ve been needing a spark to get my ass into gear… again.
Not that new years had anything to do with it but it coincided with it. Saturday and Sunday I kept quiet and wasn’t really feeling up to much, never really like doing too much at the weekends at the best of times.
I was due to get my third primary jab, the letter said to go to the Royal but I checked online and the local pharmacy was supposed to do it and thought I should check in with them first, they weren’t sure so had to check and 30 minutes later I was jabbed and out the door.
After I went out for a walk around the town, hills, lots of hills and I now know why there are so many benches to sit on around the place. It was nice though, my stomach felt relaxed, or at least more relaxed, I had timed it with pain killers kicking in. But I’d say the walk was more likely to kill me than the jab. It didn’t though. Apart from a sore arm this time, similar to the first jab and the usual roughness I have I didn’t feel any different.
Similarly to the last while, I’ve just been reading and watching tv and playing on the PlayStation, still playing Immortals Fenyx Rising and only have a couple more achievements to get to get my platinum trophy which I might finish today.
Thursday I went for the same walk as I did on Monday but in reverse as the hills aren’t as steep that direction, it was a noticeable difference but whether that was to do with going out on Monday as well and just feeling a bit better I’m not sure.
Friday I stayed in the house and just went on the treadmill for an hour and a half which felt pretty good as well. Now I have that spark and I just want to go and do! I am being careful though, I don’t want to overdo it and crash back again, but the urge is so great. I normally don’t let myself get too excited or hopeful about things but I’m struggling to contain this, my spark has burst into a flame and it feels good!
Saturday I wanted to do a video around Dromore of different locations, so I planned out a walk that would get me round most of them, it’s a fairly small town so really not that bad and just a little longer than the walks I had done earlier in the week. I’ve got a good stride now to manage better with the hills. Long, slow strides seem to be best compared to my normal shorter fast strides, not that I’m a fast walker at all, it would be good to get back to the ability to just walk and walk and walk, like the time I walked down past Bangor and back. I doubt I’ll ever be able to do that again but with the fire that I have at the moment mentally I could.
I got the walk done and when home I had a bite to eat and started editing, it turned out decent enough, time consuming. Then I used the built-in app on my phone and was done in a few mins, so I think I’ll just do it that way from now on, will be a lot easier. I am looking forward to getting more pictures again. I aim to get back to Slieve Croob by the end of the month, it’s only a 20-30 minute walk, it’s fairly steep, but think I should be able to manage it ok. We’ll see though. It’s been nearly 3 years since I was last there and need to get back.
Today I’m having a quiet one, tv, reading, gaming and probably go on the treadmill for a while.
Hope everyone’s year has been going well.Saturday 1st January 2022
Reflecting?
2022, gotta be honest never thought I’d make it this far, when I was younger, I always expected to live till about 29 and when I was 29 I got lymphoma and you know what? It never phased me, I had accepted that that was that. But me being me, I don’t do things by half and always go 110%, so I gave living my 110% and ended up getting through it and it gave me a beautiful aspect on life.
To just enjoy it.
And I did, I had the greatest years anyone could have dreamed of and my dreams could never have reached the panicles of experiences and feelings I had for those years and then in my own self-destructive ways everything went pear shaped and my body decided “nope I’m not having it”.
Pretty much the last three and a half years have been a cliff face, crag after crag, lava pit to the middle of a glacier, starting off with the ITP returning, then the bad cough, the 100+ days in hospital, half a lung removed, fluid removed from the heart, chemo, more chemo, even more chemo, the absolute mess of getting a bone marrow transplant, going insane on prescribed drugs, fracturing my spine multiple times and being in pain pretty much 24/7 for 2+ years, all during a pandemic which in all honesty means nothing to me.
25+ years of my body trying to kill me, literally signing my life away about 6 times in the last couple of years, you know what? Fuck it, fuck it all, live your life, do what you can when you’ve got one chance, so make the most of it, you’ll not have the opportunity to regret it.
Live your life, don’t tell others how to live theirs, tell the people you love you love them, be kind to those that need it, anyone in fact, get good headphones, make a good playlist and listen to it full blast, eat what you want when you want, don’t care what other people think, have a laugh. Spend time with the ones that matter, give that post a like, be a sarcastic cunt, enjoy your time here. And most importantly, do what makes you happy, it’s your life, you’ve got the one, go live it.